Of course you should care about the different types of arousal! With the belief that often times great solutions require a deep understanding of the issues, we think it is important to recognize that from a clinical perspective, there are two flavors of arousal. For simplicity, think of physical arousal as the physiological responses to arousal. These are things that can usually be measured. Increased heart rate, increased blood flow to certain areas, increased lubrication, etc. Because these responses can be measured, experiments to assess arousal have often included them.
“In most healthy women, cognitive arousal will also result in physiological arousal.”
Cognitive arousal on the other hand, is much harder to measure. It is our mental level of arousal. I believe the technical term is horny.
Now here is where things get a bit confusing. In most healthy women, cognitive arousal will also result in physiological arousal. Cool, right. However, just because you have signs of physiological arousal does NOT mean you also have cognitive arousal (and are therefore in the mood for sex).
Yup. It’s true. Scientists have run experiments that have produced measurable physiological arousal responses, absent cognitive arousal. Women test subjects who were shown videos with animals mating exhibited physiological arousal but of course no real desire to go mate with the apes!
What does this mean? Well, for those of us with low desire, engaging in sex during periods of only physiological arousal can further perpetuate low desire. Here is how. Let’s say one night you decide to accept your husband’s advances, even though you’re really indifferent to sex. During foreplay you experience firmer nipples and increased wetness. So you should be ready to go, right? Not if your mind is elsewhere.
Believing that the physical signs are all “a go for launch”, you proceed. However, you quickly realize that this is one of those nights that you really just can’t get into it, and that you have about 0.0% chance of reaching the big O. You soldier on, but after it is done, collective satisfaction is low. You more-or-less ‘went through the motions’ and received little sexual pleasure out of it. He ‘got there’ (of course), but also sensing your indifference, knew that he did not succeed in pleasuring you.
The more common this scenario becomes, the more you start trying to avoid sex altogether, figuring that is just not worth it. Not exactly a solution to low desire, is it!?
Fortunately, at After Nine Tonight, we have got your back. The entire premise of our short films is to incorporate specific elements important to female cognitive arousal that can grab your attention. From the cognitive, the physiological will follow, and hopefully with both the mind and body willing, a more rewarding activity will be had by all. Try it, after nine tonight.