After Nine Tonight

How to spice up your sex life as a busy mom


One of the biggest difficulties in keeping your married sex life alive is being able to know how to spice up your sex life as a busy mom. Being a busy modern day mother is not a joke. It is pretty much the same as having a full time career without the perks of weekends, a guaranteed vacation, or a daily cut off. As all mothers know, our jobs begin the minute our first child is born and, in all honesty, never truly ends. Furthermore, when you add the demands of running a home to the stress of being a mother, it is no wonder that across the globe all that we mothers want to do at the end of each day is crawl into bed and sleep. Of course, this is usually the same time that our husbands decide it would be great to get intimate and even spice up their sex life.

The truth is that lying in bed, body exhausted, the last thing most of want is to feel is that hopeful hand reaching over in an attempt to initiate sex. Sometimes our husbands catch a lucky a break and we kind of let it happen (albeit not being in the mood) but this more often than not results in utterly unsatisfying sex. Sadly, however, the reality is that most of the time us busy mothers are just too tired to even partake in sex and prefer to opt for rolling over and simply ignoring that wandering hand. This can be an even worse scenario as you then lie there, not being able to sleep, consumed with guilt over having once again been the bedroom party pooper.

Many of you reading this will know exactly what I am talking about. You will be able to identify with the feelings of exhaustion, disinterest, guilt and even frustration that this very real situation stirs up. It is an issue that mothers around the world deal with. So common it even has a name – Desire Discrepancy. There are loads of discussion forums, research papers, and books that all speak about what desire discrepancy is but what I want to focus on right now is what you can do about it and how, as a busy mom you can still spice up your sex life!

A good place to start is by finding a time to have a positive and open discussion with your husband about how you are feeling. It is important that you speak honestly yet in such a way so that you avoid turning the conversation into tirade about how tired you are. The aim is to let your partner know the reasons for your apparent lack of interest in sex, for him to understand the situation (and for you to understand how important sex is to him) and then for the two of you to work together to find ways to reduce your exhaustion so you can have some physical and mental energy for sex.

Another thing you can do is to make a concerted effort to initiate sex when you are in the mood. I know how daunting this may seem to many of you, so here are a few of my tips about how to initiate sex more often that can help get you started. If initiating sex is not the problem but rather the fact that married sex has become boring and a bit of a chore then there are many ways in which you can spice up your sex life such as role playing, reading women’s erotica or by watching one of our 15 minute entertaining romance films that are specially designed to get busy moms like us in the mood.

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