I recently spoke about what it actually means when your husband is nagging you for sex and how you can get in the mood in one of our “Quickies”. While I can admit that after a long day of being a busy mom the last thing I want to do is to take care of another needy child (my nagging husband), I soon realized that the reason for his constant readiness for sexual intimacy is not just physical. Rather it can be seen in the same way that verbal communication is important to us women. Sex for our husbands is a way of communicating and connecting. When we deny them this, it makes them feel similar to how we would feel if they didn’t talk to us for days, weeks, or even months! Imagine how that would make you feel and how your lack of interest in sex is making him feel.
But what exactly can you do to get in the mood when your husband wants to connect with you? Understanding how important sex is to your husband is always a good place to start. And the best way to understand his “language” and ways of communicating through sex is to talk about it. It is a sort of compromise – he can try to explain to you how he feels and you may begin to understand that his nagging is not just an annoying call to satisfy physical urges. Once the lines of communication are open, you and your husband can build an intimate bond during honest moments when you bare your inner thoughts and emotions to your partner. Understanding and accepting that men and women express love in different ways will go a long way toward alleviating the pressure of sex.
If you are finding it increasingly difficult to make time for sex and get in the mood, you may want to consider setting aside a few days a month (maybe once or twice a week) where you and your husband can focus on your relationship and forget about all the other demands that you spend your lives satisfying. Organize date nights or sleep overs for the kids at a friend’s house, take a short weekend getaway, pencil in Tuesday sex in your schedules, or surprise him with a morning quickie.
Another good way of getting into the mood after an exhausting day of running around after the kids, shopping, cleaning, etc. is to try out erotic stories or videos. They each have their advantages but what we find works best for most people who have busy lives is a short and sensual video. This is why we at After Nine Tonight developed our one of a kind romance film series to help get busy moms in the mood. Not only are they visual and emotive (two important factors in helping women to ignite that sexual spark) but they are also short enough that it won’t feel like just another chore.
So no matter how little time you may have, you now know how to get in the mood and add that spark back into your sex life – both you and your husband will love all the benefits (not to mention there will be a lot less nagging!)